June 11th, 2009

pool flip

Caption Contest results

Herewith the results to yesterday’s Caption Contest. champdaddy, sultmhoor, and gardencub went all goatse on me and turned a sweet little fun little innocent little Caption Contest into a sick dirty joke with A Punchline You Can’t Explain to Your Mother. Who knew I had so many pre-verts on my friends list? But they were also damn funny, and I hereby declare gardenclub’s to be the winner, with bearhedded taking runner-up for his family-friendly entry. Your mileage may vary, of course, so here are all the entries:

thornyc Fruit of the Loom®'s new EverySafe™ briefs-with-airbag still had some kinks to work out of its prototype.

that_grr dum dum dum It is I, Tongue Man, and I am here to lick out crime!!!

nyghtowl Is this where they're holding auditions for "God Emperor of Dune: The MiniSeries?" I brought my own sandworm costume!

theotherqpc Where's Happy Penis?

naylandblake "OK look, your first problem is that you're supposed to be playing Colonel MUSTARD."

happyengineer The new season of Project Runway seems more. . . desperate for attention than previous seasons.

bearhedded Note to self: Don't use a bean-bag for seating in the molecular transport unit, and don't bring Elmo along for the ride.

champdaddy "Bob finally realized his prolapsed rectum had become a serious problem..."

wrascalism First prototype: AussieBum underwear with comfort pouch.

gardencub "Bill fell asleep with Fort Troff's new rosebud pump still on..."

deafdyke Don't be afraid of hairy lips!

putzmeisterbear Beanbag Mummification. What color hankie do you wear for that?

putzmeisterbear Does this hoodie make me look fat?

putzmeisterbear Motorcycle helmet laws have gone too far!!

spatts5 Ru Paul's Drag Race vinyl fashion challenge gone wrong (or wronger than usually).

allanh "Too late, he realized that Sesame Street would never go for a new character named Mr. Hemhorroid."

liftinmoose "Don't call me a pussy!"

wescobear ...but it's Yohji Yamamoto and it was on sale at Barney's!

audiodubliner "Do you think I look better without without my goatee? I totally think with."

sfbootdog It's not so much "Does the carpet match the drapes?" as it is "Does the carpet match the upholstery?"

gearjock Clyde's desire to join the Legion of Superheroes as "Engorged Vagina" was generally frowned upon by the admissions committee.....

foodpoisoningsf I know red's not a good color for me, but it shows off my legs and hides my bald spot.

beastbriskett Wrestling just hasn't been the same since airbags were mandated.

The prolapsed rosebud beanbag hoodie, as it turns out, is art, from MoMA’s current design show of “rough, sharp, not pretty, blunt, aggressive, fierce, harsh, and unforgiving” design. gardencub wins a free visit to MoMA accompanied by yours truly, should he make his way to NYC before October 12.

Punchline: Photobucket deleted the image (it's since been moved to flickr), so I guess it really is something perverted!