June 4th, 2009


Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet

Amazing art by Tsevis Visual Design

Recent tweets from my twitter. There'll be a quiz later.

● Shared secrets with my younger sister last night. It's something our WASP family usually doesn't do. We cried, we laughed. It felt good.

UP was charming, sentimental, very inventive, and adventurous. Four stars!

● My tongue feels funny, I think from all the MSG in the Chinese food I had for lunch. I mean, how does meat tenderizer know when to stop?

● The onion rings at Junior's are so ginormous they really should be called onion donuts. And they're even big for donuts.

● Walking upright again, kidney stone has passed. Celebrated with Moroccan food in the Village, and later, some carrot cake.

● I dreamt I heard bearsir say, "He has sand in his front teeth." What does it mean?!?

● Does eating Midnight Taco Doritos at 10:23 a.m. make me a bad person?

● I’m feeling Cadbury Fruit & Nut bars like Hellen Keller trying to find out which one has the most almonds.

● Got to do something today I haven't done in decades: stop an ice cream truck. I got the Spongebob popsicle, with gumball eyes. It was sweet.

● Today is laundry day. Clean underwear for everyone!

● Note to self: do not take ice cream out to soften and then take a sleeping pill.

● I went to the restroom at work and used the same drugstore product on the head of my dick *and* on my eyeball. I thought that was funny.

● This week's NYC movie was MIGHTY APHRODITE, not one of Woody's best, but still fun. Someday I'll learn how to pronounce "deux ex machina."

● Oooh, pretty! The Empire State Building is a beautiful royal purple tonight. It's for all of NYU's graduation ceremonies tonight.

● Weird things I hate about New York: George Whipple's eyebrows.

● Weird things I like about New York: the smell of vinegar that emanates from all the Subway sandwich shops.

● Our ninth straight day of rain. I'm sprouting gills.

● A fried-egg-on-head lady on bus, having trouble either receiving or keeping out transmissions to her head. Thanks for the reminder, Bette.

● In observance of Cinco de Mayo and the Swine Flu pandemic, dinner tonight will be five tacos carnitas, and lots of alcohol to kill any germs

● My Tivo knows I'm fat. Since I began recording fitness shows, I now get ads for stomach band surgery. I'm sure THE MATRIX started this way.

● dim sum in Chinatown with the kinknoscenti, ICP fashion and John Waters exhibits, A GENTLEMAN IN NEW YORK at Tribeca Film Fest with Lolita.

● Wolverine gets angry about cheap toilet paper in public restroom, accident occurs, then he gets REALLY angry. #fakewolverinespoilers

● Tonight's NYC movie screening was ON THE TOWN - but now that I've seen The Public Theater's revival - not as good as I used to think.

● A public library branch opened up in my office building with innerwebs and lots of DVDs! I wonder what those brick-shaped things are?

9 to 5, The Musical. Better than the movie, which is still faint praise. Dolly did a great job with the songs, and the audience loved it.

● Guilty pleasure: I watched MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY and I liked it. I enjoy movies featuring idiots: Jerry Lewis, Jim Varney, Laurel & Hardy...